Sunday, May 10, 2009
We're In!!
We are officially in our new house! We have no blinds, stuff is everywhere, kitchen cabinets are shelf-less, but we are in! The girls love sleeping in their bunk bed again, and we love that Calvin is in his own room and not in our closet. There is still tons to do, but it's exciting to be self-sufficient again. A billion thank yous a billion times over to Mom and Dad Butler for taking us in for nearly a year. I am so blessed to have such generous, kind, sacrificing, helpful, hard-working in-laws. We could not have done this past year without you.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
not yet...
I was all set to move in last weekend, but we didn't get enough done. Even after three straight days (all day) of being at the house painting I still don't have the cabinets done. Almost. Well, that's not counting the doors that will wait for warmer weather and us actually living there. It is depressing that even after all the work we've done we will still be moving in with a family room with no flooring, a kids bathroom with half the wallpaper removed, a half bath with all the wallpaper still there, and a master bath that we haven't even touched and needs a pretty dang good overhaul. All the bathrooms have these ridiculous "recessed" lighting boxes over the sink that do absolutely nothing and I want out, which will involve knocking out more drywall and studs and patching and texturing and painting and getting new light fixtures... And all the doors and cabinet doors to paint. And then there's the yard...
I just reread "The Fire of the Covenant" by Gerald Lund and he mentions how people on the trail would get overwhelmed by "seeing the elephant" or looking at the 1500 mile journey across the continent all at once. I think that is what I am doing.
That book is a good one to read every so often to remind myself what our ancestors have done and sacrificed in being obedient to the Lord and gathering to Zion. While fighting thoughts of depression of being such a reprobate while having such an easy life, I am reminded that I have also covenanted to give my all for the kingdom, and wonder how well I am fulfilling that covenant. How well am I doing at being my brother's keeper? How well am I doing at being humble, selfless, and patient, and relying on the Lord? Not at all well, really. And while I know that perfection is nothing near attainable in this life, I do need to be at least moving forward on the trail.
The Willie company had one of their hardest climbs and most deaths after the rescue party came to them. Even though the Saints from the valley sent/brought food and clothing and helped where they could, the emigrant Saints still had to pick themselves up and continue on. Their climb up Rocky Ridge in subzero temperatures after a month or more of reduced rations was a horrible fight for them. And I ask myself, what is my Rocky Ridge? What is it, or will it be, that when all my strength, all of my temporal crutches are completely exhausted, will teach me to turn to the Lord and say, "I can't do this, I just can't on my own. Please help me." The thought frightens me, but also makes me want to try harder to be closer to the Lord now. The emigrant Saints could in full confidence turn to the Lord, for they knew they were doing His will. Can I say the same?
The other thing that struck me in reading this book was the quote at the beginning of one section from Elder Maxwell (I believe), that talked about how the Lord could have stayed the weather, he could have tempered the awful winter storms that hit the handcart companies, but the responsibility for caring for the Saints was on the shoulders of the Saints in the Valley. The Lord most often cares for his children through the hands of his children, that both the helped and the helpers may learn. Grand miracles were not needed. A lesson in charity, in faith, and in responsiblity was needed far more. We have covenanted to care for each other, to lift each other up. How often do I life my head up out of my daily activities, and open my eyes to the needs of others around me? I can say that I am a young mother, and have my hands full of fulfilling needs, but still my conscience is pricked and I have to admit that I do not do this as well as I should either.
More and more I am thinking that the experiences of those early Saints are as much for us as they were for them. Their trek across the continent is an analogy of our own lives. Can we face them, and continue pushing on, with the same faith and courage that they demonstrated?
I just reread "The Fire of the Covenant" by Gerald Lund and he mentions how people on the trail would get overwhelmed by "seeing the elephant" or looking at the 1500 mile journey across the continent all at once. I think that is what I am doing.
That book is a good one to read every so often to remind myself what our ancestors have done and sacrificed in being obedient to the Lord and gathering to Zion. While fighting thoughts of depression of being such a reprobate while having such an easy life, I am reminded that I have also covenanted to give my all for the kingdom, and wonder how well I am fulfilling that covenant. How well am I doing at being my brother's keeper? How well am I doing at being humble, selfless, and patient, and relying on the Lord? Not at all well, really. And while I know that perfection is nothing near attainable in this life, I do need to be at least moving forward on the trail.
The Willie company had one of their hardest climbs and most deaths after the rescue party came to them. Even though the Saints from the valley sent/brought food and clothing and helped where they could, the emigrant Saints still had to pick themselves up and continue on. Their climb up Rocky Ridge in subzero temperatures after a month or more of reduced rations was a horrible fight for them. And I ask myself, what is my Rocky Ridge? What is it, or will it be, that when all my strength, all of my temporal crutches are completely exhausted, will teach me to turn to the Lord and say, "I can't do this, I just can't on my own. Please help me." The thought frightens me, but also makes me want to try harder to be closer to the Lord now. The emigrant Saints could in full confidence turn to the Lord, for they knew they were doing His will. Can I say the same?
The other thing that struck me in reading this book was the quote at the beginning of one section from Elder Maxwell (I believe), that talked about how the Lord could have stayed the weather, he could have tempered the awful winter storms that hit the handcart companies, but the responsibility for caring for the Saints was on the shoulders of the Saints in the Valley. The Lord most often cares for his children through the hands of his children, that both the helped and the helpers may learn. Grand miracles were not needed. A lesson in charity, in faith, and in responsiblity was needed far more. We have covenanted to care for each other, to lift each other up. How often do I life my head up out of my daily activities, and open my eyes to the needs of others around me? I can say that I am a young mother, and have my hands full of fulfilling needs, but still my conscience is pricked and I have to admit that I do not do this as well as I should either.
More and more I am thinking that the experiences of those early Saints are as much for us as they were for them. Their trek across the continent is an analogy of our own lives. Can we face them, and continue pushing on, with the same faith and courage that they demonstrated?
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